Finally I've Seen The Light...

29-09-2008, 11:44 PM

... And I'm selling the bus*, no more breaking down, no more will she, won't she start worries, getting 20mpg if I'm lucky and all that jazz. Yeah, I want something reliable and I tell you all the future's Japanese - and all for less than the price of a narrowed beam too.

Yes, it has to be said, those young gentlemen in the windmill car park did me a favour tonight and I'm getting myself one of these babies. Fellow hubba dubba's I'm getting myself a daihatsu grand move (or if I go for a Jap import, the daihatsu spazwagon*)

She's a beaut ain't she??* I'm having a sex wee just thinking about it** Those chicks are gonna be after me I tell you. I'm gonna gonna run her one some 13's and get myself some lovely chrome hubcaps from halfords. There's plenty of room in the back for a massive sound system (or me nan's wheelchair). I'll never have to clean car windows again as they'll have been polished to a sparkle by the previous window lickers and best of all I can park right in front of the shops as with one of these babies everyone will automatically assume I'm a retard!

Go on, you know you want to too!

*Not strictly true
** The observant amongst you will have noticed I didn't * that one

bodhi · 30-09-2008, 09:27 AM

Im with matt on this only im going for britsh with a high quality metro! Easily slammed and all that style the chavs will be jealous. Im sure ive seen one covered in burberry pattern thats the one i want!

lemonyellow · 30-09-2008, 02:53 PM

matt,thats pure porn

bodhi · 30-09-2008, 05:34 PM

heres some porn for you ly get your bus painted like this

30-09-2008, 06:46 PM

Now that's just pure filth bodhi. I want it and I want it now!

bodhi · 30-09-2008, 07:04 PM

how about this bad boy probably quicker than the shit our chav mates were driving

enjoy

lemonyellow · 30-09-2008, 07:12 PM

02-10-2008, 05:46 PM

You may be wondering how to spot a chav car. F**king imbecile, it's not hard. Anyhow, just in case you are; here are ten ways to spot a chav and his chav-mobile.

1 - The chav will most probably be wearing burbarry and cheap gold from Argos. Remember, they have no taste and it gives them away.

2 - The chav will stare at you, because he thinks he's hard. He's not. He's a twat. Be sure to tell him so. "Oi, chav... yer a twat!" should do the trick.

3 - His car will be shit. This one's a giveaway sign. He'll drive a small, cheap car because that's all his benefit, or fudge packing job will allow him to buy. He will think he's driving a Subaru Impreza, he's not. Tell him so.

4 - His car will have lights on it that flash in sequence. It's a special code that means 'I am a twat, with a shit car. Laugh at me and tell me so".

5 - He'll be a twat.

6 - When he sits in his car, he will barely be able to see over the steering wheel. This is because he is a twat, and is under the impression that by lowering his seat he somehow looks 'cool'. He doesn't... don't forget to tell him so.

7 - His car will sound like your dad's hedge trimmer. This is because he's fitted a Halfords exhaust on a car with a tiny engine. He thinks it makes his car sound powerful. It doesn't. You know what to do.

8 - The chav moves in herds for protection. You will find them in McDonalds car parks, and other areas where they can gather to congratulate each other on their impressive beasts. This is a good opportunity to strike, scattering them as they flee in terror.

9 - Don't forget, the chav is a twat.

10 - Finally, and most importantly, the chav drives a very slow car, but is under the mis-guided impression that it's fast. Race him, he will most likely kill himself as the weight of his fibreglass add-ons cause his car to topple on bends.

02-10-2008, 06:10 PM

heres some more "bad boys" for you to drool over

bodhi · 02-10-2008, 06:42 PM

you market harborough peeps no how to paint a ford there amazing